The best relationship is that which connects you to Allah (Exalted is He) through His book. It is a relationship that elevates you to be among His chosen ones. 

Anas ibn Malik reported that: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Allah has His own people among humanity.” They said, “O Messenger of Allah, who are they?” The Prophet said, “They are the people of the Quran, the people of Allah and His chosen ones.” (Sunan Ibn Mājah 215)

Here are ways of maintaining good relationship with the Qur’an:

Tafsir:

Acquaint yourself with the ayah by reading tafsir, brief commentary and explanation of the ayah/surah you are trying to memorise/ revise/ retain in the language that you understand. 

‘’Tafsir is a science that studies the Qur’an al Karim from the perspective of its meanings as intended by Allaah – as much as human capability allows’’ (Az-Zarqani (d. 1948)

When a verse is not entirely clear, return to Tafsir

Taddabur

Taddabur (Contemplation) differs from Tafsir which is the science reserved for scholars and experts in the field.

Tadabbur is a word derived from

1. Dabbara (دبر) – organise, plan and make plans
2. Tadabbar (تدبّر)– contemplate, think, ponder
3. Taddabur (تدبّر) – reflection

The muffassir (Quran commentators) said, tadabbur is 

‘’examining the matter behind something and interpretation of thing’’

[Ibn ‘Atiyyah d.541H] 

‘’observing, examining the back and the end of something [Al-Zamakhsyari -d.538H]

“to reflect on the arguments and prescriptions of Allah included therein with a mind to take heed of their warnings and to act upon them”  (Imam At-Tabari)

Taddabur is your personal striving with aim to contemplate and relate with the ayah (body, mind and soul). As Allah (Exalted is He) stated that one of the goals of the Qur’an is to reflect.

كِتَـٰبٌ أَنزَلۡنَـٰهُ إِلَيۡكَ مُبَـٰرَكٌ۬ لِّيَدَّبَّرُوٓاْ ءَايَـٰتِهِۦ وَلِيَتَذَكَّرَ أُوْلُواْ ٱلۡأَلۡبَـٰبِ (٢٩)

(This is) a Book (the Qur'ân) which We have sent down to you, full of blessings that they may ponder over its Verses, and that men of understanding may remember (Surat As-Sad, 38:29).

Hence, Taddabur is a means to an end. Extract the message to act on. A message for ‘’you’’ from the depth of your heart. 

Taking Notes 
We are the Ummah of writing. It is the practise of the scholars. Long before modern research asserts that writing improves memory and physical wellbeing, Imam ash-Shafis said:

‘’Knowledge is a prey and writing it is the harness. So, harness your prey with a secure rope. For it is foolishness to hunt a gazelle and leave it wandering freely among the people (Imam ash-Shafi)

In our time, journaling helps with encoding the verse/surah in long term memory.

To-Dos
What are your action points from the verse/surah? Live with the ayah!

‘’When a man amongst us learned ten verses (of the Qur’an), he would not move on to the next verse until he had understood their meanings and HOW TO ACT by them’’ (Abdullah ibn Mas’ud)

Teaching Others
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "The best among you (Muslims) are those who learn the Qur'an and teaches it."

Teach what you know to your kids, friends and families. It stays with you, and what a beautiful way of sharing khayr!

Barakallahu feekum! 

Allahuma Ijalna min aal-l-Qur’an. O Allah make us among the people of the Qur’an.  Ameen!!!